are we dazed or dancing...

Date: Wed, 16 Oct 1996 07:58:20 -0400
To: Carolyn L Burke 
Subject: are we dazed or dancing...

Dazed and dazed...
go by.

dreams and caffeine dancing circles together
dancing dancing...
measures of reality
but for fractions of seconds...
they dance, like Ramona does
in our heads.

she heard a noise and looked up to see four black private school girls brush by her. they sat two on either side of her, shouting through her face. she found them somewhat amusing. eventually, her thoughts turned to Frank, where he were, what he could possible be doing, but the constant drone of accented bilingualism penetrated her eardrums and she became totally immersed in their conversation about economics class, and Mrs. Schoflecher. the bus jolted, and she picked up her things. Clunking down the steps onto the cold street, the temperature was about freezing, she guessed. Her stomach felt the cold air since she had undone her coat on the bus, and the plastic heel-support of her burgundy loafer kept rotating around behind her shoe, and she was worried it was going to fall off, or break.

I am starting to have these weird but clear visions of what or who I will be in 20 years. Not the futuristic longings of the optimistic university student, but the dramatic realizations of who I really am, and what I really need.

And... with the sound of Andri agassi beating the ball at the french open downstairs, I am swept further and further towards the east...and finally I find myself roaming the large streets of Paris, maybe starting at l'Opera Garni or looking for Willi's Wine Bar...these images so intense, nothing like those of other places. maybe it is, as you say, we remind you of valerie, and you us of France. I should tell you, it's a long complicated story as to why it was very unlikely for me to grow so fond of your France...A story of explorers, politicians, and human nature.

the circular nature of things never ceases to amaze me.

'dear no one, amongst discussion of the essential nature of human beings, choice vs. instinct, and the rapidly evolving environment that surrounds us all, I am compelled - wait a minute-now there is a woman praying at my side. I suppose she is facing east, but I wouldn't know where east was, nevermind have the conviction to ask a total stranger if I could pray in her office...

yikes. Again. Yikes.'

like I said
and more
a whirlwind of emotion had got me in it's grasp naturally I am flattered
but how long can it last


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