Manhatten and Chicago

Date sent:        Thu, 31 Oct 1996 08:28:30 -0500
To:               Carolyn L Burke 
Subject:          Manhatten and Chicago

"take me there
where you are going
take me anywhere
but here
I don't feel
at home here anymore

take me there
where I can wander
take me anywhere to roam
I don't know why
but somehow I
feel home's away from home.

I'm not very old
and not too experienced
but out in the world
I try to be bold

take me to mahnatten
let's sail the seven seas
i'd be fine to wine and dine
but take me with you please

my mother still wants me
my teddy bear sits lonely
my books are scattered on the floor
I shed one tear and close the door

take me there...

I've only known this room...
I've only known these memories"

"There was something there-between us-like that statement about Love: 'tt isn't seen in someone but between their eyes' something about him, his casualness, startled me,perplexed me and did something to me, because I still feel it. and he knew and understood and returned some of that understanding, because he asked if I wanted to go for tea somewhere. I really can't remember all the rest in great detail as I was surely on cloud nine(teen). he wore a jean jacket vest with a white shirt of sorts underneath. very puffy, very cottony and very, very white. he wore Levi jeans. He wore black boots. he wore a purple 'Indian' hankerchief (twirled) hanging from his neck. no skin was to be seen except his dark, tanned face. he carried in his left hand a case, obviously harbouring a looked heavy and he wore the heaviness in his face. in the other, he carried a black traveling bag. old an worn, it looked heavier. I felt the relief when he placed them on the ground. wherever we went I kept stopping myself from taking them from him."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 	-lmp july 1984

besides watching your priorities change, your friends disappear, and your life getting longer, there is a very important lesson one learns when one writes daily for 19 years. that being, 'shit happens'. there is so much we do, which we forget. so many people we interact with, whom we do not remember. places, events, parties, exams, situations,

all the stuff that makes a life. completely stays in the past. thoughts which were deep, meaningful,, lonely words in a small blue and white striped book with "CHICAGO" written in red on the front. Has it formed me? informed me, perhaps? I can literally see my life in front - or should I say behind me. There it is, now what?

Did I know this then

a stretch
and now.

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