nervous with pain ahead

Date: Thu, 14 Nov 1996 08:07:47 -0500
To: Carolyn L Burke 
From: louern@vif.com
Subject: nervous with pain ahead

I really don't remember much of how I used to feel.

smoke-bus-rain-traffic-soreness-heavy eyelids-nervous heart.

Limits.
I can convince myself of anything.
"I'm almost over you;
If you come back around,
after painting the town;
you see I'm almost over you"

"that song used to very significantly reflect my feelings for cyn. it was taking me an extremely long time to come to grips with the fact that our relationship had ended. it was the most painful thing I had to do. when I heard that song it seemed as if it had been written for us. forgive me for what I am doing..."

stand up.
Don't assume what you already know to be untrue.
you don't really want the web - you don't need the flies that badly, but
you're weaving it all the same. tighter tighter weave weave.

crisp slean, dry cleaned
cold wet washed
meet dirt slime filth and frowns
with a smile, the reverse false.

don't let yourself be caught in the circle. don't let pain lead.
we know better, don't we? remember what the pure ones tell you.
leave the others behind. you know who you are.

you know what today can bring.

Jim.

Jim?

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