time tribulations

Date: Mon, 18 Nov 1996 08:16:18 -0500
To: Carolyn L Burke 
From: louern@vif.com
Subject: time tribulations

could this be me?

"It's such a 'diary'. when I look back. when I re-read. A diary, to the old man who finds it, identical to any other he might find written by a young confused alienated lonely woman trying to discover and explain the feelings inside her and her motivations for her actions. A woman trying to create an atmosphere for herself which other people will be attracted to. Alone, with no one but herself to talk to about these emotions. Emotions that soceity says must be kept bottled up. only love and hatred come out of the closet in our world. anger, confusion, desparation, the need for love and understanding are kept on sheves to rot with the moths. And her mind seems to rot sometimes, trying to explain a feeling and the explanation never gets understood. Rots, when she loves and loves and expresses her love in many wonderful ways, yet the love is not returned. Rots, every second she is silent and not thinking or creating, when she could be using those seconds to be herself, to develop herself, to appreciate air, to appreciate her own individuality, to share herself, to be a part of someone else's individuality, or mind games. wasted time...paper, bottles, tin even, can be thrown away, and used again. simple things yet much effort is done to reuse them...in case we run out. But time? who ever thinks that time will run out? yet it is one thing that we can not even dream of recycling"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

it is difficult to look at yourself.
especially when >you< look back...

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

where are your tribulations?
which moments have you framed?


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