still friday night

From: louern
Date: Sat, 11 Jan 1997 19:21:16 -0500
To: Carolyn L Burke 
Subject: still friday night

and so who am I, she said? someone effecting something.
my name in lights does enough. but then I turn, slowly, to face what it is I must-and what do I see? I still see the face in the mirror-and I still see you.

I see the romantic you. I see the you who loves in a shell. I see the you who sees the me I see.I smile as I nod my heavy head. and all the eyes above me stare. and in them, I see romance. I see shells. I see me.

when I see myself here I feel grand. I see love. I see hope. you should too.

"I must be honest. I must try to explain where these morals of mine come into focus.
I love them, having them, admiting they are mine. Dimly lighted by the georgeous morning sun, trying, unsuccessfully to pear through the blinds. Large separate blinds, I felt out of place. I felt alone. very alone. very young. silly too, picking up my jeans, lee jeans, a teenager's really. The belt clanked. I stopped it. I took it right off the hoops. one leg-two leg-he slept. my t-shirt and a sense of familiarity swept over me as I slipped it over my head and realized how much more mine they were than anything else within a ten mile radius of where I stood. still, no courage. Not enough to decide what to do. paced. paced. 8:00. 8:15. must leave. birds greeted the sunshine. I breathed the air and appreciated the innocence of nature and the realization of my link with nature, as much as I too was innocent of any "crime" my mother could even dream of pinning on me. so off I went into the morning. gotta find a bus. I asked a young man how to get to the metro, and he told me, not all- to-pleasantly. then, he turned, and to my surprise, and horror, he said, very matter-of-factly, "why do I get the feeling you're not out for your morning jog?...Why do I get the feeling that it's still Friday night for you?"

still friday night alright.
always has been always has been.


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