Peter Parker?

Date: Wed, 11 Sep 1996 15:53:32 -0400
From: Peter Parker 
Organization: FSC
To: clburke@carolyn.org
Subject: another small voice

Dear Carolyn,

Sometimes, reading your diary is uplifting like nothing else - except maybe an express elevator ride up from the mundane basement of the everyday and most every one. At other times, the reading is so painful as to make an eternity of the mundane everyday seem a deliverance.

The times when the reading is painful have grown - or shrunk? - progressively rarer. But now is one of them.

I'd like to say something. Not to make you feel better. Not to 'make' you 'happy'. Ok, ok... mostly not for those reasons. I would like to contribute a little perspective at this moment that is one of emotional shell-shock for you - meaning, among other things, this moment of perspective absence.

It's just a little of my perspective. No generalization; for once I have no desire to speak for anyone but me.

I am very good at getting to know people. I've gotten to know lots of people over the years. You were the hardest person to get to know. I like to say you are not standard issue, but that doesn't even try to describe it. You combine the intensity of that tiger burning bright with the intellect and vision of the owl. That makes an owl that roars or a tiger that flies...

And that means that when you flap your wings or make roaring noises, it can get scary.

Yes, I get frightened when you do these things. For me, though, fear is

not very interesting; a boring sensation. For me, it is the beauty of who you are that matters. This 'beauty' thing: I don't mean it metaphorically. I've gotten to know lots of people over the years. You

were the hardest to get to know. And you were and are the most wonderful to succeed - even somewhat - in knowing.

I know others feel that way too if they are at all decent when they get a glimmer of who you are - I say 'when', not 'if'. But they also get scared - even terrified at times.

So: here's the other half of an old incantation - I didn't realize at the time there was another half :-).

First half: remember to see them, sometimes, as they seek to be - normal and following rules even if the rules differ in places. Second half: remember to remember how they see you.

Don't be too disapointed. Don't feel too betrayed. When something burns bright enough, and we don't hand out shades, people sometimes stumble about with their eyes closed. And when they turn from the light, don't take it too personally.

Much of this I have learned from you. I hope the reminder helps.

I love you.